The Hill I Am Willing to Die On

The crazy in our world seems to get worse, literally, every single day. If it’s not the forthcoming election here in the U.S., and the extreme nonsense that goes into that, it is the pandemic of COVID-19. If it’s not the pandemic, it’s things like “pizza-gate,” kids ‘disappearing,’ human trafficking, and sex slavery. (Side rant: Nearly half a million children are reported missing EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR. In the U.S. alone! I’m sorry, folks, but 460,000 kids do NOT just vanish into thin air every year!) There are many days that it is entirely too much for my anxious, empathetic, sensitive heart, and I just have to “turn it off.”


“Operation Not Forgotten” was conducted by the U.S. Marshalls and several other law enforcement agencies recently. It was a two-week operation to find and rescue missing children. There were thirty-nine children rescued during those two weeks. THIRTY-NINE. CHILDREN. (CBS.com) (CNN.com) (Foxnews.com)


I keep hearing and seeing things about “sexual attraction to children,” AKA PEDOPHILIA, being just a ‘sexual orientation’ that ‘can’t be helped.’ I’m sure you’ve seen it, too, if you are on social media at all. I hope it’s not true, and they aren’t genuinely trying to make this a thing. I do, but at this point, nothing would surprise me. There is already a term whose intention it is to desensitize us to it; MAP. It stands for “Minor Attracted Person,” or “an adult person attracted to minors.” Really, people?!? I’m here to tell you that this is not okay.


I’m also here to tell you that I don’t care what the adult “feels,” it destroys a child. It breaks them. It makes them question everyone (even themselves) and everything. It often causes them to experience things like anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts/tendencies, etc. It CHANGES WHO THEY ARE because one is NEVER the same after this.


Like many of the abused, missing, and exploited children today, most of my trauma was caused by people close to me; parents, siblings, a so-called “friend,” and babysitter. I have been a victim of parental kidnapping paired with emotional and mental abuse by a parent. A family member has sexually assaulted me and a babysitter tried to. I have dealt with the consequences of their actions for my entire life. I plan to go into that more later on as I write out my story. The point is that I have been through what so many kids are currently going through, and I can’t “just turn it off” anymore. My anxious, empathetic, sensitive heart just won’t let me.


Neither will God. We have decided, God and I, that THIS is the hill on which I am willing to die. THIS is the thing for which I will fight. They do not have a voice of their own, so we (and I’m talking to myself here) need to step up and be their voice. Our children are an inheritance and a blessing from the Lord. (Psalm 127:3) They are NOT possessions. They are NOT for sale. Not for sex, not for parts, not for ANYTHING.


I don’t know how long it will take me, but I will be sharing more of my story. Please be kind. It is a long, hard story to tell, but I genuinely believe it can help someone. I feel personally led by God to share this aspect of my life, as I experienced it, and as I remember it. It has affected me for my entire life, and this is how I have survived.


As I have said before, other people are a part of my story, and it is impossible to tell my story without telling at least a portion of theirs. Much of my trauma happened twenty-five years ago. There has been justice served, time served, and healing happening in individuals and relationships. When I tell of things that I have experienced, please understand that it is not my intention to tear anyone else down, not even those who did what they did. I know that everything done in darkness will be revealed in the light. The only way that I, my family, and others, are truly going to defeat this evil is for us to own it, acknowledge it, learn from it, and DO DIFFERENTLY for the generations coming after us.


I am just a small town, Texas girl, who loves Jesus, believes that He has saved me, and wants me to use the mess of my trauma as a message of hope and love. The sincere hope and prayer of my heart are that if you read my story, you find the message of hope and keep fighting!


If you are currently experiencing any of these things; if you are a victim of human trafficking, sex slavery, parental kidnapping, abuse, assault, trauma, etc. my plea to you is this; keep fighting! Even if it’s just fighting to stay alive one more day, people are fighting for you!


If you have gotten out of/been rescued from any of these things and are learning who you are now (because you are NEVER, EVER the same after this), keep fighting. Keep fighting for your healing. Keep fighting for your future. Please know that it is not your fault. It is not okay. People are fighting for you!


If you are a kid who has or is experiencing ANY of the things I talked about, keep fighting. Keep telling grown-ups in your life until one of them listens. We are listening. We will not ignore this TRUE pandemic anymore. People are fighting for you!


Dear Ones, We have GOT to do better for our kids! This generation. My generation. My friends, siblings, cousins, etc. that experienced the things we did as kids, at the hands of the adults in our lives, We say NO MORE! NOT OUR KIDS and NEVER AGAIN! We have the power to stop this horrific pandemic of buying, selling, using, and abusing children!
It’s going to require that we get bold, though. It’s going to require that we decide that our children’s lives, health, and future are WORTH telling OUR stories. Worth bringing this demon out into the light, exposing it for what it is, and healing from it.


Ephesians 6:10-12 says, “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”
It is time to take a stand. We cannot ignore this silent epidemic any longer.


I will continue to use my blog platform to tell you of my story, struggles, wins, and losses with anxiety. However, I also plan to use it as a place of bringing awareness to this ever-growing pandemic of buying, selling, using, and abusing our children. Put on your armor! It is time for a fight!

~Forever In His Grip

LB